How To Stop Being An Overthinker (What worked for me)

Hey guys, so when I shared 15 Things To Know When Dealing With An Overthinker, I realized that so many people deal with overthinking, and I promised to share effective ways you can try to stop being one.

In as much as overthinkers are sweet souls, it's not healthy for you - especially for your mental health. It comes with unnecessary stress which is also not good for your well-being.

Overthinking often involves two destructive thought patterns - ruminating (which I'm guilty of), and incessant worrying.

Ruminating has to do with dwelling on the past, and you'll have thoughts like:

* My parents didn't teach me how to cook, so I'm sorry, I'm never going to get it right

* I shouldn't have worn this outfit yesterday. Bet everyone thought I looked $tupid

* I should have stayed in my last relationship. I'd have been happier

Incessant worrying is more about negative, and catastrophic predictions about the future. Your thought process will be like:

* Everyone else will get married before me

* I'm going to fail my test tomorrow. I know I'll forget everything I've studied

* No matter how hard I work, I don't think I'll ever be rich 

The truth is that these thoughts could become a habit which is why I believe that overthinkers weren't born that way. But if you keep practicing these tips below, you can train your brain to think differently: 

1. Stop using it as an excuse

My hub taught me this, and I believe this one worked best for me. You know how someone hurts you, and you keep dwelling on it, and wondering why they did it, and if you deserved that; then when someone else tries to talk to you to calm you down, you go like "oh I'm an over thinker, I can't help it". YES, you can help it!

You need to stop telling yourself that things hurt you because you're an overthinker. You know why? Because things will keep hurting you, and you'll never grow a tough skin if you keep having that mindset that you're an overthinker.

2. Distract yourself 

One thing with overthinking is that it's going to leave you feeling sorry for yourself most of the time, and if you dislike self-pity like me, then you'll understand what I'm talking about. The truth is that telling yourself to stop thinking about something will backfire because the more you try to prevent a thought from entering your brain, the more likely it is to keep popping up.  A good distraction is a nice way to keep yourself busy when those thoughts start settling in. Some of the things I do are: 

*write

*talk to someone

*cook/try out new recipes

*read

*listen to music

*dance

*workout! This is definitely my most favorite. Even if you don't have a gym membership, you can listen to music, and dance.

3. Be aware of your thought pattern

Do you have Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs)? This means the first thing you think about when something happens! I used to be this way, and I promise you, this can lead you to depre$$ion. 

Here's an example: you write a math test, the result comes out, and you see that you failed. Is your first thought: "I'm such a loser, I never get anything right"?. If your answer is yes, then you have this problem. 

It also means that whenever something happens, you find negative reasons first, and sometimes - if not all the time, you blame yourself. 

First step in letting go of this invasive thought, is to stop blaming yourself. Stop using words like "I should have". 

$hits happen, and it's not your fault because it's not everything you can have control over. Saying "I should have" already gives you anxiety, and sets you up for regrets, and anger - hence overthinking. 

However, if you're convinced that you do share some blame in the situation, then it's best to use words like "I'll try my best to..." or "I'll try my best not to..."

Have an open mind that there can be other logical reasons why something happened.

Now that you have an idea, and are aware of your thought pattern, you can also decide to deal with it the way it works best for you - while keeping in mind that mistakes are part of life!

4. Acknowledge the good

When you see yourself dwelling on these negative thoughts, or feeling miserable that things aren't working for you or going your way, please take a pen, and a paper, and write down all the times things have gone your way, or the times things worked out for you. Write down your successes - no matter how small. By the time you finish, you'll have something to be grateful for, and then you can tell yourself, "the world doesn't revolve around me", "the world isn't against me".

Truth is that things won't always go the way we've planned them to!

5. Step out

Unwind! Go out, and meet people. This isn't much of a problem to me because I really enjoy my company; but everyday, I always step out of my room - in as much as it's my comfort zone. 

Not being in one place all day will definitely help in distracting your thoughts, and sometimes even remind you of a reason to be thankful. It could also give you perspective on how other people live their life!

6. Face your fears

I got to a point in my life where I stopped worrying over something which I consider as my worst fear. I told myself "if it's going to happen, it will, and I have no control over people's actions". Having this mindset will save you from constant worry. 

If you don't face your fears, you'll see yourself constantly trying to be in control of things - just to be sure it doesn't happen. This takes away your peace of mind, and I don't think that is good for you.

To learn how to face your fears, start by doing something you've always been scared of doing. It could be: 

*having lunch in a restaurant alone

*going to the cinema alone

*standing up to a bully

*skydiving 

*leaving a toxic relationship, etc!

7. Focus on problem-solving

Like I already wrote earlier, I don't like self-pity so when something happens, my first thought is usually "how can I fix this?", and if I can't, I'll excuse myself from the situation. 

Instead of dwelling on the problem, why not think of a solution?

Guys, these are 7 tips that helped me work on overthinking, and I hope you found them helpful too. Xo

Have you read How To Stop Being An Overthinker

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